Never knowingly undersold...

The title of this week's blog is actually the strapline for the John Lewis store. Whilst they don't claim to be the cheapest on the market, they do pride themselves on being value for money.

Something that I hate to do and usually struggle with, is writing a biography for myself. What do you include, without sounding all braggy? But when you leave too much stuff out, then you run the risk of 'underselling yourself. The last time I had to write a biography, I ran it past a few friends and they told me that it did not do me justice In summary, I had ‘undersold’ myself. As I worked on it again, it got me thinking: why do we as women, routinely ‘undersell ourselves?

According to Kelley Keehn[1], women leave around $500,000 US on the table by the time they are 60, if they don’t negotiate an equitable first salary. Apparently men are much more likely to negotiate a higher starting salary than women and so the wage gap between men and women gets off to an early start.

In this week’s blog, I’d like to put forward 3 reasons for why women ‘undersell’ themselves.

The first reason in my view is that women fear being characterised as being aggressive or bossy or unfeminine in some way. We’ve all heard the derogatory comments made about a female boss who is accused of behaving like a man. Terms such as ‘bitch’ and ‘ball breaker’ abound and have the effect of silencing other women or causing them to modify their behaviour. Women are a lot more diffident in their speech and putting forward their ideas in meetings, for fear of being labelled as aggressive or difficult. The same behaviour that is criticised in a woman is more than likely to be lauded in a man.

The second reason is very closely linked to the first. In my opinion women are socialised to be amenable and non threatening. Gender stereotyping unfortunately begins very early. A lot of emphasis is placed on girls being ‘nice’. This usually translates to a lot of caring, sharing and helping others to promote themselves! I remember being told as young woman that I should be less argumentative because men don’t like argumentative women. I baulked at that suggestion then and baulk at it even more, as an adult woman. A dear aunt of mine is one of the feistiest women I know and I plan to be just like her-when I finally grow up!

My final reason goes by the name ‘imposter syndrome’. This is where a person feels like they are an imposter or a fraud because they think their work or accomplishments are nowhere near as good as their peers. Oddly enough it affects highly successful, professional women the most. These clever and accomplished women routinely discount their success and attribute it to luck or a fluke. They live with the constant fear that they will be found out and run out of town by their peers.

When women routinely undersell themselves, it impacts negatively on our careers and our confidence. When women constantly attribute their success to external factors, it engenders a sense of mistrust because their superiors may begin to feel that they don’t have the necessary skills for the job.

As I end this week’s post, I reflect on the fact that although there is still some way to go, there are women out there who have blazed a trail for the rest of us. Women like Ellen Johnson Sirleaf, Angela Merkel and Christine Lagarde. They have excelled in fields usually associated with men and have done it with style and grace.

As you read this week’s blog, I’d like you to think about areas where you might be underselling yourself. Areas where you have discounted your abilities. Then, try something new, something radical- take credit for what you have done, for what you have achieved.

If you would like to know how coaching can help you with any of these issues, book a Discovery call with me at calendly.com/funmi-johnson1

Until next time, go well.

[1] KelleyKeehn.com